I don’t know if you guys have noticed, but I have been feeling a little — uninspired — of late.
Uninspired might even be putting it too mildly. I’ve been feeling really pretty down and blah and disheartened lately. It might be the weather. There’s been a bit of a dearth of natural vitamin D, and a lot of darkness and rain. And today, of all things, it’s snowing! The audacity.
It might also be that I broke my foot last month and have been doing a lot of enforced nothing. At first I was sort of looking forward to this resting time of nothing, and all the articles I would write and books I would read, but pretty soon it became clear that sitting around was actually really draining to my frame of mind. Not to mention it just makes me feel so pathetic not to be able to perform my usual and basic tasks.
I am hobbling towards better, however. My foot is healing, and my spirits are rising incrementally. I’m trying not to judge myself too harshly in this thin February light.
I’m trying hard to distract myself with seed orders and sketching out a new chicken coop and the very daunting task of trying to calculate how much it will cost to actually fence in the lower field. Also, we might be adding three Nubian goats to the farm a lot sooner than we thought we would, so there is some thought going into that, too.
And, finally, I’m trying to find a way to rake the coals of this website and flare excitement for it again. Just a little more than a month ago I was filled with ideas and words and thoughts to express. But all that sort of mysteriously ebbed away, and I’m sorry for it.
I think I need to make Home & Harrow a little more personal again. I need to share more stories. I need to write more creatively. I need to take more pictures.
I also feel the overwhelming need to pare down my social media. I hate looking on Instagram and feeling jealous of all the farmhouses and living rooms and gardens that aren’t mine. My yard is mud and rusty junk and lots of duck poop right now, but it’s mine. And I feel a lot better about it when I’m not comparing it to other yards as seen on Pinterest. So there you go.
I feel better already.